One of the things that irks me most is the saying it’s all in God’s plan. First of all, the person who says this usually doesn’t mention which God and so I find that confusing to start with. Then there is the question, do they mean everything?
If they do and I am to assume that their God overlooks all things, then we must take into consideration all the bad stuff that happens as well. It is not enough to say God moves in mysterious ways, as to offer that as an explanation is just a get out cause. A statement used when that person can’t give a reasonable explanation that makes any sense.
I also dislike the way people cherry pick when they make these statements. An example being that a child gets rescued from the rubble of a collapsed building after days of searching and they say it is God’s plan. So, does that mean that all the other children that died in collapsed buildings was part of that plan?
If a child is abducted and held in the cellar for a number of years and continually raped and then her child raped as well still part of God’s plan too? That child probably prayed to God every single day and her family were probably doing the same and yet no salvation appeared, I have to assume that that too would be part of God’s plan as if not why did he not prevent it?
So, the only conclusion can be that there is no God or that he is powerless or doesn’t care. I made my choice on this a very long time ago. Anyway, this article is not all about religion because there is a crossover as well.
So, moving away from the religious aspect, why is it that so many people think that things or events are meant to be? If something happens whether it is good or bad you hear the statement there is a reason for everything and it was meant to be.
Now I understand that all things are connected that there is a reaction to any action and I even get that certain energies can attract or repel, and so I also get that people tend not to see the randomness of things. We seem as a species to want to label things and give meaning to anything that happens in our lives. There are some people who are not specifically religious but turn to the universe and revert to almost the same way as someone with a deep faith in that they give the universe the power instead of a God. This to me is just as crazy a notion as the existence of the 3000 plus Gods that have been worshiped throughout time.
To suggest that all things are meant to happen is to take away our power of choice because you may as well say it does not matter what I choose to do today as it was already part of my destiny and I do not believe that for one moment. Nothing in my world points to that being correct.
If something good or something bad happens in your life no it was not meant to be, it just happened. If you need to go back to your house because you forgot your keys and this meant that you were a few minutes late and missed a bus that blew up or crashed it does not mean that your life was saved for some specific reason. We are just not that important and I find it absurd to think that people would assume that we are. Equally if an accident happens it is not just you being picked off because it is your time to go or that there is a special reason that you must leave this planet.
We are responsible for our own choices and we make decisions based on any number of things. Sometimes it’s greed sometimes it’s love and sometimes it’s random but all these choices can lead to different events. I do understand as I said before that one action causes an effect on another and that clearly makes sense but it does not mean that it was pre-destined.
You could argue that randomness does not exist in the sense that if you knew all possible variables then you would know the outcome of any given event, but that of course is totally impossible. If it were possible then you could predict the future and you could make one heck of a lot of money in a casino.
If you held your arm out straight and had a handful of Straws in your grasp and release them they would form a pattern on the floor and to all intents and purposes it would be random because the next time you tried it the pattern created would be completely different and you could carry on doing that for a lifetime and never repeat the pattern in its entirety.
The reason that it is random is because of the variables, you can’t control all of these and even things like how tired your arm is or how tight your grip was will make a difference to how the straws fell to the ground. Then you have things like air pressure that varies and breezes and muscle tension and so your outcome is random you can’t predict it.
Life is like that, things do react to other energy and can be drawn from other energy and attracted to it and repelled but it is rare for any sequence of events to be exactly duplicated and therefore randomness as a result enters our life.
The bottom line to this is that we are responsible for our own choices and there is no God or universal power that makes these decisions for us. We are all connected through an energy that is difficult to explain but appears to be real and one event is connected to another often in ways that make us look for patterns, but our lives and destiny is not predetermined.
We are our own God in that what you do now changes your future tomorrow.
Surely even the most die- hard Catholic must cringe at the beautification of Mother Teresa? I do not hold the belief of the late Christphor Hitchens who thought of her as almost evil because I believe she was just a pawn or a puppet and others pulled the string. That said she did create a hell on earth for many. Her statement to a Calcutta population that aids was evil but condoms were worse must have condemned thousands of babies to a life of poverty and depravation. The misuse of funds and the awful state of some of the hospitals that were made in her name and funded by millions raised by her should both be investigated. There is a massive hole where those millions went and no one can explain what happened to the money and it was obvious the hospitals never received it. Once again, I think she was just a pawn.
I think however it is the miracle itself which is most embarrassing. A Bengali woman named Monica Besra claims that a beam of light emerged from a picture of MT, which she happened to have in her home, and relieved her of a cancerous tumor. Her physician, Dr. Ranjan Mustafi, says that she didn’t have a cancerous tumor in the first place and that the tubercular cyst she did have was cured by a course of prescription medicine. Nothing here makes sense and just points to how truth or proof is not important to many people, if blind faith and hope are all you need then it makes it very easy to believe any kind of fabrication. Let us also not forget that she herself lost her faith in the last year of her life.
We are all one race as it is proven that we can all be traced back to one Valley in Africa. The differences in the color or appearance of our skin is merely down to climate changes and the fact that some of us evolved to become better equipped in certain parts of the world and certain conditions. The truth of the matter is that the white supremeist and the black power supporter stand alongside each other in the same body, each one could and should use the blood of the other in a medical emergency.
Only belief systems separate us, beliefs that come from a darker age, an age that lacked knowledge and so beliefs were born that have no bearing in the world we live in today. Culture is important to us as a species as it gives us a better understanding of our history and our arts. It brings in a variety of different cuisines and architecture it makes us open our eyes to the beautiful world that we live in. It only goes wrong when different cultures have different belief systems that remain unquestioned. Religion does this all the time. Child mutilation is 100% born from religious beliefs as an example.
We evolved from a common ancestor shared by the chimpanzee, both of us evolved down a different line and we’re still evolving today but the chimpanzees are cousins for sure. Three other types of human evolved down a similar line and are now extinct. We are only important to ourselves and the world and its species change at a drop of a hat when the power of natural selection is at work. It is an amazing thing that we have developed to be able to think and explore in a way that other species have never reached. When you consider what we have achieved already on this planet both good and bad that it is quite breath taking for we have not been here that long.
The fact that we can kill each other because we were born in a different part of the world and therefore believe in something different is very sad. When our species was down to just a few thousand and the first ones walked out of Africa there was no way that they could have ever known the dangers of diversity to humanity.
I embrace you as a fellow human.
There is a storm coming and you know it because there always is and the next one may be in a different guise than the last one but it will still bring the rain and dark clouds. Of course, it will pass just like the last one did and every one from now on will too.
We can’t avoid these moments in our life but we can at least see beyond them. Sometimes it will look and feel like there is no way forward but there always is. Sometimes the storm can be so dark and heavy that occasionally a person cannot see the light behind the storm and chooses not to carry on in a moment of despair. We lose them from time to time and it’s sad because we always feel we could have done something. Perhaps we can and perhaps we can’t and we never know because that moment is gone.
Depression is a subject that many won’t talk about and it confuses me because anyone of us can suffer from it either directly or indirectly when a family member or friend enters the storm themselves. It’s not taboo, it’s not contagious, it is just a state of mind. I never hide the fact that I have depressive moments which are largely controlled and in my case not by drugs, and I am willing to talk about it because by being open it releases it in a way. I am being purely selfish when I mention my own problems but I do hope it helps at least someone to also feel they can talk about it too.
I live over 90% of my life in a place that is very comfortable and by that, I mean I find humor in everything and enjoy seeking the truth in a variety of subjects. I am generally a happy person but dark clouds can blow in when I least expect it. I have been enjoying a coffee with friends and suddenly without any known reason my inner world starts to fall apart. I have never felt suicidal but have had visions of my own death and that can be quite disturbing too. I could often cry at these points but I am so good at wearing a mask these days that very few people actually detect what is going on behind the scenes.
Never be ashamed of your thought pattern and never be frightened to tell the world how you feel. No one is truly alone and if you feel that way then reach out to me as I will understand. Although its not my line of work anymore I am never going to turn my back on anyone who needs to chat.
My light jog across the waste ground led yet again to another mishap. My foot caught a small rock and my knees buckled and for a few short seconds much to the amusement of the Spanish family walking behind me I gave an impression of someone attempting a late entry into the ministry of funny walks as I was still sort of jogging but in an almost crouching position, but this ended when my ankle turned over like a tranny on his first outing with heels that he can’t control. The forward roll that followed was one of my better ones and I think I have indeed nailed this movement now and almost feel like repeating it randomly in front of people. Then standing straight up and pretending to spot a plant that needed to be examined (This never fools anyone and they know you are soaked in embarrassment) it’s a bit like a cat that slips of a table and continues to clean itself while pretending that is what it meant to do. With one last look at the plant I jogged away lifting my knees slightly higher than necessary in a bid to not allow it to happen again in front of the Spanish family who had already had their quota of entertainment for the day. The parrots mocked me from their tree.
Andy (no pride left) Beveridge
Last night I had a dream which some people would find pretty disturbing but I can clearly see the difference between a dream and reality and on the whole I don’t look for hidden messages because my understanding of dreams are that they are pretty much safety valves to get rid of the built-up junk that congregates in our brains. However, this dream which centred around suicide is a kind of re-occurring thought but not for one moment am I saying I’m suicidal because I’m not as I have way too much to live for.
In this dream I had some kind of terminal disease but I can’t remember what that was supposed to be but it was enough for me to feel the need to end my life. I remember walking towards the sea and having to make a decision on which way should I face as I waited for the early morning tide. The intention was to remain in control and I think that is another theme that seems to run through my dreams if not my life. The memory of the dream is quite vivid as it was only a few hours ago and I can remember choosing to sit down in the shallow water and face the mountains, my thoughts were that I really wanted my last few moments to be looking at the thing I love most about the landscape and mountains have always called me.
There was not much reflection in the dream only that I was choosing my moment instead of the illness deciding that it would switch the lights off for me. I do remember that I could see the sky changing as daylight began to break the night’s hold on it and thinking that it was going to be a good day for those left behind. Writing this down now makes it all sounds so morbid and depressing but it was not like that at all in the dream as it was far more about release and control.
I do wonder if someone who is contemplating taking their life feels the same as I felt in the dream or if we could even imagine how someone feels. You often hear people say that suicide was the easy way out or that it’s a selfish act but I don’t go along with that because I think it takes a huge amount of courage to say this is it I can’t take any more. Plus, I also think that in many cases the person committing the act is actually trying to protect their loved ones. I do understand that every case would be different but I could see huge percentage fitting into this category.
I had a friend once and I will not mention his name here because it is possible that someone might read this and recognise him from it, and that might cause some grief to his family. It was a long time ago but he was the kind of friend that would call round my house only in trouble times. He would always thank me if we chatted and always said he felt better after we had a discussion, and nearly all of his issues were not really serious matters for the most part but we have to remember that how we perceive someone else’s problems is often not how they see the problem.
I had not seen him for a few weeks and then suddenly bumped into him in a local club, he seemed cheerful enough and our conversation was brief but warm and friendly. The next day I heard that he had walked from that place and straight to a railway track where a train finished his life. I can’t help sometimes think back and wonder why at that moment he never chose to talk to me. I can only imagine that he had made the awful decision sometime before.
So suicide does affect many other people of course but I do not think it’s fair to say the person is being selfish or taking the easy route out. These are just statements that are made by people who’ve heard those things before and are just repeating them or they have never been in a position where nothing seems like it could ever change.
My own dream as disturbing as that may be to some people in no way reflects upon how I feel. I personally have an enormous amount of life to live and because I’m aware of my own mortality I need to get on with doing just that.
The dream did have one moment where a new surge of energy coursed through my veins and it was a moment when the water had dragged me back and I was under looking up and catching glimpses of the brand-new day and I thought it’s me that switching the lights out and not you.
How life has changed in the last 40 years, because it seems that almost everything we say offends somebody and we now live in a state of perpetual worry. We can’t say this we can’t say that without somebody falling off their stool with bouts of anxiety.
Take Facebook for example, I have had on numerous occasions when people who had previously been friends with me unfriending me because of a statement that I posted or maybe just an opinion, now it’s not wrong to have a different opinion than me and I am certainly not saying I’m right about everything but it’s kind of weird that people think it’s acceptable to be so offended by one line of thought that they need to eradicate that person from their life.
It is well known among those that actually know me that I am an atheist. I’m not an anti-theist but just somebody who does not believe in any of the gods. To me they are all man-made and came understandably from the time when we knew very little and were trying to make sense of the world. (Ironically I do love churches)
Now I have many friends who are religious and I might add from different religions and I regularly see their pro-religion comments and here is the point, although I disagree with them and don’t believe in what they believe in I don’t immediately unfriend them because they have many other values that I do agree with. I can have conversations with these people on many other topics and enjoy the interaction, and I am not offended because they believe in something that I don’t.
The trouble with this is that often once people find out that I’m an atheist some will try to change me and that can annoy me. It is then that I can be a bit more vocal about why I don’t believe in any of the numerous gods or religions.
However, it’s not just religion that people get offended over in fact it’s just about almost everything that gets covered by over sensitivity. Now I hate racism and bullying as much as anybody could, I think that when somebody openly attacks someone because of the colour of their skin or the shape of their body then it says a lot more about that person than it does the person they are attacking and I agree that we should eradicate that kind of behaviour at every level that we can.
The other side to this coin is that a lot of it is unbalanced and is just people jumping on a bandwagon, after all think of this, there are not many Irishmen that I know that get offended by being called Paddy and the same goes for Welshman who get nicknamed Taffy, Scotsman getting called Jock does not seem to create any extra wave of sensitivity but try calling someone from Pakistan Paki and the whole world erupts. Now if you say any of these words with venom that’s a different matter but just the use of the word is completely harmless it’s just a description.
I am not offended by the fact that a lot of Australians would refer to me as a pommy which I think refers to the fact that we first sailed out of Portsmouth many years ago. I am not offended if you call me bald because I undoubtably am and the hair that does still grow on my head gets shaven off every couple of days, because like looking like that. I’m not offended if you call me white because for most of the year I am (I say most because there are about three months of the year when I adorn a rather sexy tan.)
So, what I don’t understand is why people aren’t just proud of where they came from and their roots, there are many aspects of humanity which I dislike but being from a certain area of the world surely can’t offend anyone? After all it’s how you behave that makes a difference not what you look like or even what you believe in.
You know I am not even sure if we are allowed to call someone black anymore and yet if that is the colour of that person’s skin then surely they are black if I am white it’s not an offensive remark it’s just a fact. I really don’t care what the colour of your skin is if you are nice to me then I am going to be nice to you, and I think if we all stopped being over sensitive and were just kind and looked out for each other, then none of this nonsense would exist. Different cultures are important to us because we learn and expand by understanding different ways of life and that does include the things that I don’t believe in, and yes I can still gain from something that in my mind can’t be true or exist, the reason for this is that I can learn about different people and how they interact and where their belief systems come from, but I don’t need them to be exactly the same as me to gain the benefits in fact it’s more beneficial to me if they don’t.
If you behave like an idiot then I will treat you like one and I don’t blame you if you do the same with me, but don’t expect me to put you on a pedestal because your different than me or think different things than me.
So here’s a few topics that I don’t believe in and because I don’t can cause offence. I don’t believe in fairies, unicorns, the Loch Ness monster, alien abductions, after death experiences, people talking to the dead (never seen one yet that does not use cold reading and Barnum statements), religion, telekinesis, tarot cards and past life experiences. I’m fairly sure there are quite a few more out there.
Now I find many of those topics quite interesting and as I go through life I will never stop learning after all new things are being discovered all the time, areas like quantum are opening doors up that once we could never imagine even existed so we can’t really say no to anything and all possibilities are in fact possible. However, when there is no real proof of anything we cannot therefore say it exists and when someone states that something is true without proof then they are either seriously misguided or they are lying.
Here is the thing though, if you believe in any of the above I can still be your friend because I’m not offended that you think differently to me, in fact you might be correct and me wrong. I too have some spiritual beliefs or feelings that interact with many things that I don’t actually think can be correct, I don’t fully understand these feelings and so don’t push them onto other people but through healthy debate and interaction with others we can learn and grow. The point is to be able to embrace each others thoughts and share our growth and knowledge with each other in a friendly way that benefits us all.
At the moment, it’s almost like society needs to be offended and it wants to see fault in others and for me it’s hard to see where we go in evolutionary terms as a species because we seem to be subdividing all the time, and in my opinion the subdivisions are being caused by belief in things that don’t actually exist.
So, let’s get real and start thinking about the things that really make a difference in our short time on this planet and me worrying about if I’ve offended anyone is not one of them.
Truly understanding who you are is an incredibly powerful thing and you would be amazed at how few people really have this information. We are born with a clean slate and a few natural instincts and all our knowledge is then acquired through trial and error or passed on information. This slowly increases over time into layers of learnt behaviour and we use it to govern our daily lives.
Parents are normally our first teachers and what they believe in is often what we at least in the beginning tend to believe in too. Then schooling takes over and teachers and even other children pass information into our growing data base of knowledge. Our own interests also add to this and as we grow older we experiment in other areas like relationships and work.
These layers of knowledge become the foundation blocks to how we live our lives and eventually the knowledge which we will pass on to our own children. What many people do not think about is just how much of this knowledge is true, and the original source that it was born from. Often our belief systems are actually made up from lots of other people’s beliefs and in turn their knowledge and beliefs were passed down to them too.
So it pays to sometimes question your beliefs and ask yourself “Do I really and truly have proof that this is correct?” When you start doing this it opens up a whole new way of looking at life and often leads to a path that reveals the true you.
The moon circles us like we circle the sun. In ancient times it is easy to understand how this must have been confusing. Stories would have been told and folklore and legends born as people tried to make sense of everything. Of course, they had no understanding that they were just tiny specks in space and that millions of years before, creatures existed that would have frightened the most hardened of story tellers. Religion much later was born in the same way as more modern humans looked for a way to explain things.
Now we have so much proof thanks to science constantly attempting to disprove various theories, and we understand so much more about how life was formed. Yet with Quantum opening up new doors all the time it gives a sense of possible new secrets being revealed for the first time to us.
Yet when I stand and stare at that inky blackness and know that our star is just one very small one out of billions of others and many will have planets around them, it makes you realise just how awesome it all is. Sometimes I can almost feel the energy surging through me. I want to reach out to those stars and in a way I know I will one day. We are but star dust.
It’s all carbon man.
When we think of negative and positive it is easy to think of it as black-and-white but this is not strictly true. As a coach for many years I pushed or tried to change people into thinking in a positive manner, no harm to this of course because being positive is beneficial to our well-being, in fact I often spoke of having a choice on how you view something, you can see the negative or you can see the positive and for the most part looking at things in a positive way tends to lead to a better outcome.
However much that I encourage positive outlook in life it should not come at the expense of ignoring negativity. Negativity is a balance and I have spoken about this in the past, it is important to understand that there are both sides to any thought process or outcome. It would be wrong to blindly ignore some negative thoughts as they can act as a warning and should be heeded.
So, it pays to understand that negativity also has its place in our thought process, we ought to be taking note of it but not allowing it to control us, in fact if we use it properly it can lead to us seeing a positive outcome from what would be a negative situation.
Depression is one of those subjects that people tend to shy away from, but I prefer to bring it into the open. I think that I am one of the lucky ones in that my depression periods do seem to be controllable, in fact sometimes I welcome them as I become more creative during these moments that tend to last one or two days.
So clearly I don’t suffer as so many do but it still changes the course of how I think and act and often I find that I’m putting a mask on, not because I’m ashamed but because I don’t want to affect others. I often think of it this way, I see a dark forest ahead of me and there is a path that is lit up going right the way through, this path meanders like a river through a valley, so you can never see very far but as long as you stay on the path then you get to the other side safely. When I do my most creative work, I have 1 foot in the darkness and 1 foot on the path.
My fear is stepping off the path and walking into the darkness because I do have an urge to do that sometimes.
When all is said and done, depression like most things must affect us all differently, and as I’ve already said I am aware that mine is at least controllable, but it is there all the same and sometimes it feels very much like I’m drowning in emotion. Other times it feels like there is no emotion left and I think others will recognise that trait more than the first one.
For the most part as an individual I am really happy and it is hard to think what triggers off the sudden mood changes, there is no one big thing but more a series of smaller issues that can sometimes morph into something larger. Last year was an awful year for me with the breakup of a long-term relationship and ill-health following and later my business crashed through neglect but during that time I cant really remember being depressed, maybe ill but not what I would call in a dark depression. Ironically through some emotional problems I am on the border of depression now. I can feel dark shadows invading and although this is likely to pass quickly it can be a bit scary.
I think the message in the short article is really to reflect on the fact that any one of us can feel this and I think that most of us do at some point. It is never enough to tell someone to buck up and get their ideas together, we have all that in place. For me it is about having space and the ability to express myself and this prevents the darkness becoming overwhelming but do not think for one minute that every smile or joke tells the true story.
Golf is one of those games that defies the laws of physics. You know the trajectory of the club head is correct and you also know that your grip is not too light but firm enough to keep control. You have eyed the green in the near distance and lined up everything up in exactly the same way as you did when you hit that wonderful shot about a year ago. The breeze is gentle and warm and will not be taking a part in the journey of this golf ball through the air.
The club head slices through the air in a controlled arc and is every bit as good as professionals look on the television or at least that is what your head says, because your friends stood behind you are seeing a different picture. For them result is inevitable as they can see you are facing slightly to the right and that aged old excuse of I tend to bring the ball round doesn’t cut it anymore.
You can actually fool yourself right up to the point of impact that it is going to be a great shot as up to that point there is no proof of anything different. Once club and ball make contact then all bets are off and the savageness of your incompetency knows no bounds. The head of the club follows through in a manner that you practiced so many times in the past and your torso twists and the club head although nowhere near where you think it is does end up behind you. The ball however reveals the truth of how your stance and setup were all misaligned.
You could forgive yourself if the ball had gone a few yards right of the green as you were already facing away as your friends will repeatedly tell you later on in the clubhouse, but the fact that somewhere deep down in your subconscious you knew this mistake made for another problem. It’s a tiny movement but to compensate and your subconscious knew it had to, there was an adjustment mid flow. A slice had been produced. Now the ball already destined even with the perfect stroke to land a few yards right of the green has now developed a beautiful spinning action and arcs itself away from the chosen target and seriously threatens golfers on another fairway.
Little smirks appear on the faces of fellow players as their job just got easier, because it is one of the quirks of playing golf that if someone has made a mistake that you will never feel as bad as they did. Of course, there will be a round of how unlucky and I thought you nailed that one. None of this course compensates for the complete lack of skills on display. Little reminders creep in about how you’re actually paying for this in cash. Sometimes you even look at the clubs and think it’s time you changed them especially when a friend hits the perfect shot with their brand-new club.
Golf is truly a frustrating game at times and it does seem to defy the law of physics, it certainly does not live up to the law of averages or at least how I play it anyway. Yet it is strangely addictive and it only takes one perfect contact with the ball to have you planning next week’s game.
There must be some life lessons to be learned from this but for the life of me I can’t think of any.
It dawned on me the other day that I have very few photographs of my cat Billy Bob with his eyes open and I take a lot of pictures of him. This is because he is so chilled he sleeps most of the time.
He has a gentle spirit and lives in a world where cats don’t hunt or spit at each other, no Billy Bob is more likely to share his stash of catnip on meeting another cat. I have seen doves edge him away from his water bowl.
The only act of violence I ever saw in him was when he caught a wounded dragon fly and he ate it before I could get to him. This could have been a moment of madness on his part where he returned to his primeval roots but I prefer to think of it as an act of kindness as he put the poor creature out of its misery.
He hates traveling but settles into any new home like he had it purposely made for him. “Put the sofa there and I will sleep while you unpack” He gives a lot of love and likes to be within about 20 feet of me all the time, strangely he does not like being picked up but loves sitting next to me with one paw on my arm.
He has his own Facebook page now where I often find myself writing on his behalf. You can check it out here if you so desire. My name is Billy Bob
It amazes me the hate and controversy raised by the vote to stay in the European Union or leave. Where does all this putrid and vile behaviour really stem from? In my opinion, it has been born from the scare mongering tactics that were constantly used by both sides in the run up and throughout their campaigns. Very few real facts came out and I think that was because even the politcians did not fully understand the future themselves.
So most people based their vote on a bed of lies that was designed to scare them and it appears to have worked because once you introduce fear it quickly overtakes logic in my eyes. Families fall out with each and other friends turn against one another and for what? A journey into the unknown? Surely this is the time when we embrace each other and walk forward into an unpredictable future but with a united front.
Look at some of the lies. Immigration out of control. Well immigration is a problem to an already overcrowded island but coming out of the Union does not mean that future elected governments will instantly solve this problem. Plus, we should encourage new skills into the country and perhaps the solution lays with a more controlled kind of immigration policy where young men are not instantly allowed in from war torn countries but women and children are in certain numbers for a period of time until it is safe for instance. Perhaps more people should be vetted and checked before entry but leaving the Union does not put any of that right.
Nobody will deal with us and we will lose out on trade deals. Well that one got put to bed fairly quickly as countries quickly put their hands up knowing that they could now create lucrative free trade deals. Even the European Union does not want to lose out on this and we have much to offer in the way of trading. India, Pakistan, Canada, USA, China to name just a few will be open to create new trade deals which would have been impossible while in Europe. That is one argument from both sides that was little more than scaremongering. There were many more as I am sure you are aware of.
The fact that most of us do not really know what the consequences are of leaving makes it even more absurd to spread hate in the way it has happened. I think the one thing for certain is that no matter what happens with our economy future governments will blame us leaving for the unpopular policies they bring in and that would have happened either way.
I live in Europe and a lot of people are panicking over what will happen to ex pats, well nothing really. I mean we are not all going to get thrown out of the various countries we live are we. Here in Spain the economy would simply crash if we all left and I am pretty certain that would be the same in other European countries. We have to remember that people lived abroad before we joined the Union but I get that it is a lot easier to move around right now. What will happen is people will have to become legal which of course they should be anyway and I am sure there will be a few euros added to the various forms that we fill in.
All in all, once the dust has settled life will go on pretty much as before and it surely is not worth falling out over and even more so if you are one of those that did not really know what you were voting for.
I will add one more thing, as it stands now we are not out of the Union as it takes a while to sort these exits out and of course it was only a referendum which carries no legal standing. That said I don’t think the result will change now.
Onwards and upwards to a bigger and brighter future and I would have said that whatever the result turned out to be.
Most of my life I have been a caring person and attracted people into my world who needed me for something. This with a few exceptions was the same in romantic relationships too. I am an empath and naturally listen to others who would gravitate towards me and unburden themselves. For the most part I have been happy to do this even though it can take its toll.
It was natural also for me to move towards a more professional role as a counsellor and psychotherapist although I later realised that the training was benefiting me as I came to terms with my own childhood memories.
I was often involved in relationships that slowly fizzled out when the original problem had been solved and as I say with a few exceptions this was a repeated pattern. I began to slowly feel that was all I had to offer. A constant flow of people stopping by for guidance but moving on once they came to terms with their issues. In truth helping others can make me feel lonely.
For many years I have suffered bouts of depression and for the most part I am able to embrace them and take advantage of the creativity that feeds off them. Sometimes they are deeper than others and I never know which type will happen as they all form in the same way.
In the last year, I have not had many of these deeper ones but they have been replaced by something else. These new feelings are not depression but are still disturbing. I can only describe them as an overwhelming feeling of sadness that comes in like a wave. They last 10 to 20 minutes and it’s all I can do to stop myself weeping.
I am sure the roots lay in my childhood and these emotions are little more than suppressed energy. It is strange because it often sweeps over me when I see couples together that appear in love or are happy and I don’t like feeling sad in those moments because I genuinely want people to be happy.
This has got me reflecting on my life and I do wonder that despite the fact that people see me in the caring role whether I might be the one that needs the rescuing. Rescuing is a strong word and perhaps I really mean that I need to be able to have a degree of support myself and finally talk through past issues that are still holding suppressed emotions which are slowly and surely leeching into my daily life.
I may have been escaping them all along in the guise of helping others. After all, while I am listening or dealing with other people’s problems I am in reality escaping or ignoring my own.
Perhaps I needed fixing as much as I wanted to be the fixer.
Posted on June 6, 2016
Ali recently passed away and the self-proclaimed greatest leaves a gap in showmanship that is likely never to be filled. In truth, he left us a long time ago as Parkinsons disease had already stolen the speed of mind and body which entertained us for so long.
I personally do not think he was the greatest boxer of all time but he was involved in some great fights especially in the 70’s when Foreman and Frazier were challengers. Ali was never the biggest puncher but was extremely mobile and had incredible fast hands. It has to be noted that he was involved in some fights at his peak that just take your breath away when watched even now. He also took on a lot of men much smaller than himself and got pushed the distance which back then was 15 rounds. He lost a number of times but also bounced back. It is also hard to forget the punch that never was that seemingly knocked Sonny Liston out. Clearly it did not land and was a fixed fight but I suspect the Mafia may have had a hand in that and perhaps we should not blame the boxers themselves.
It is not inside the ring that I criticise Ali as he was one of the best in his era but outside with his views is a different matter. Some of those views also belonged to a different era and coming from his background it is easy to see where they came from but if said today then the world would erupt with offence. What’s more if a white man said those things Ali said then there would be riots.
Ali was quoted and recorded saying that he felt homosexuality was a white man’s disease. He strongly disapproved of mixed race marriages and was heavily influenced by an extreme version of Islam which I think was called the Nation of Islam. He later left them and I assume that was maybe where his bigoted views began to change. Sentences like “If a black man sleeps with a white woman then he should be killed” would have damaged his career if said later in life.
The racist remarks and bigotry were all said back in a time when people were not so easily offended as they are today and I think it is clear he was heavily influenced by extremists and the way he saw the black people being treated back then and some anger was clearly a result of that.
Ali managed to mask a lot of his bitterness through humour and people were naturally drawn to him. He is forgiven by the masses now and he did leave in fairness a lot of that controversy behind.
There are of course other aspects of his life that could be pondered like his refusal to fight for his country and stating that “White man sending black men to fight yellow men” was not his fight. He served his sentence for that but there must have been many a soldier that felt negative about that attitude.
It just remains to be said that controversial as he was we have lost an icon. Yes, he was racist in his early days but it was a different era and it is easy to judge it from today’s standards. I hope that his family are allowed to grieve in the normal way but I sense the lawyers are already sharpening their knives in preparation for long drawn out legal battle on who gets what from his $80 million legacy.
It’s a word that gets misused in my opinion as so much is easily explained in a non spiritual sense. Not that two people can’t be connected at a deeper energy level as I know that to be true, but more that a lot of people ignore the obvious with the word synchronicity and almost go out of their way to give it a different meaning.
For example, today I heard a story of a person who thought of a tune or a song and within moments a man sat opposite on a park bench I think and began to hum that very song. Now on the strength of it you can say what an amazing thing, I mean it is almost like they were mind reading, however surely the it makes more sense to believe the logical explanation in that their subconscious picked up on the man no matter how faint or brief humming the song already and laid that down in the brain. They then unware at a conscious level had that thought and along came the man and sat down and continued his rendition? Of course if it was a popular song then they could have both easily heard it on the radio or such earlier.
You see we are hard wired to look for patterns and our brains are constantly looking for reasons but our thinking is often flawed. If you stare at the clouds or a stone wall you will eventually see a face or an object and that is your brain looking for patterns it can recognise and we do it all the time. The trouble is with this way of thinking is it is very subjective and often forgets the misses and only remembers the hits.
An example would be that you think of someone and the phone rings and there they are but it is easy to forget of the scores of times that you have thought of that person and the phone did not ring. We remember the hits far more easily than the misses.
Synchronicity does exist to me but not at that spiritual level as there really is nothing to back that up apart from people wanting to believe it or flawed thinking. Two people who are attracted to each other often mirror one another by drinking at the same time or touching their heads and this is synchronicity to me.
It stands to reason that two people who talk to each other on a regular basis and do have a shared energy in the fact they have deep feelings with each other will say the same things and even finish each other’s sentences but this is very easily explained in a logical way.
If you don’t have so much in common this level of synchronicity would naturally lessen. When there is a perfectly sound and provable idea of how something happens, it makes sense to me to go with that probability and not one that can’t be proven or carries no real weight.
Now I like parrots, they are intelligent and colourful and for the most part quite cheerful. However, they dislike me with a passion, I don’t know why this, but even the most docile African grey can transform itself back into an ancient ancestor and flip into velociraptor mode at the very sight of me.
I had a girlfriend who had a parrot and it was called Freddie and he seemed to like me because when we first met as he would come to the side of his cage and allow me to stroke the top of his head. This apparently was unusual as Freddie had previously shown a dislike to other would be suitors to his owner’s affection. In fact, my girlfriend was very impressed but none of us had any knowledge of Freddie’s real intentions.
After a few days of leading me into a false sense of security things suddenly took a turn for the worse as Freddie’s real plans were revealed. On this particular day my courage and confidence knew no bounds and I was eager to show off my latest party trick which basically was me allowing the parrot to groom my eyebrows through the bars of the cage. My girlfriend was suitable impressed as Freddie gently nibbled and tweaked away until almost in slow motion his head turned sideways and close up I saw his beak open and then close over the bridge of my nose.
For the next few seconds all hell broke loose as Freddie attempted to pull me through the bars, the less impressed girlfriend tried to prise his beak open as a stream of life blood flowed down my face. Then tiring of his game he suddenly let go and started preening himself like it was just a normal everyday thing. I swear he had an evil grin on his beak.
After that I allowed my eyebrows to grow wild and free and Freddie no longer liked me as he would shriek at me when I visited and to his pleasure my girlfriend and mysef split up a month later.
Another instance of the rage that I can produce in the parrot world was when we visited someone in Spain. They had two of the things that were allowed to fly around the house, I can’t remember what type they were but they were fairly small as parrots go. At first it was ok as they landed on me and sat on my shoulder or my head which everyone thought funny. I was quite happy with this mysef until I tried gently I might add to remove one from my head as its claws were scratching me. Outraged by this it closed its beak around my thumb and nigh on took it off. This spurred the other one into action and not to be outdone it pierced my ear in exactly the right place if I had wanted to wear an ear ring. The owner had to remove them and from that day forth they had to stay in their cage whenever I was present. They shrieked at me when I walked into the room so it was fairly obvious what the outcome would be if they were allowed to be free.
I have had several other minor displays of horror when parrots have set eyes on me. There was an old ladies African Grey that nearly decapitated itself trying to get to me and a few times when I have had to leave a pet store as my presence evoked chaos.
Now I live in Spain and to my horror there is a local population of parakeets which can number up to 30 or so. When I walk across the nature reserve I am aware of them watching me and waiting. Daphne De Maurier would surely have gained inspiration for the sequle to “The Birds”
If I ever go missing and after a search they find my lifeless body I am pretty certain you will find a few brightly colored feathers nearby.
It has always baffled me that back in Catalonia people thought the price they paid for their cars would still be obtainable many years later. The fact that no one ever looked after their vehicles added to the weirdness of their perceived value.
I mean often these cars would look like the annual bull-run had taken place over them, wing mirrors were considered a luxury and often one just hanging down was clearly viewed as a selling point. The same car could be seen parading around with the for sale sign and over inflated price stuck in the back window for years. I fear often passed down to the next generation who had the same viewpoint in that their cars like their wine would increase in value through time.
It is not quite as bad as that down here in Spain but still can be amusing. Take for instance a car I looked at the other day. The advert boasted that it was well maintained and immaculate in and out. On arrival I could only assume he meant his other car as this one did not match those bold claims.
True the one hub cap that remained on the vehicle did look kind of clean, which prompted me to ask if the other ones were inside the house and being cleaned as we wait.
The immaculate inside fared no better, it looked like flock of pigeons had used it as a holiday home for several months, and then had employed a troop of untrained baboons to tidy it up.
“It’s got seat belts” he said, in a voice that was I think hit by the realisation that his previous well scripted description was now failing him. I pointed out that I could see one of them pocking out of the top of a Mcdonald container, the pigeons clearly ate out a lot.
Further inspection revealed the wing was really just a memory and the exhaust was held together by wire. I did offer a compliment at this point as it had already dawned on him that it was not going to be sold to me at any cost. I said, “Well done on being able to use so much wire and yet still make it look like it came with the original exhaust system”
The words “well if you don’t want it” were uttered and there was an awkward silence while I waited for him to finish the sentence with maybe you should take a look at the real car I am selling, but the wait was in vain.
Before departing I informed him that not only did I not want it but I feared for the safety of other vehicles nearby because there must be a risk of contamination.
No moral to the tale but be cautious when employing troops of untrained baboons to clean your car.
Some moments in life stay with us forever and one of those moments for me is when I first plucked up the courage to trust my buoyancy (Drummed into me by several teachers “You can’t sink boy if you just relax”) and attempt to swim in a fashion the width of the school swimming pool.
The reward was a small red ribbon which at a later date could be sown onto the trunks by a parent. Although the blue ribbon was the ultimate prize, (an entire length of the pool was required for this) the red one was still a sought after by us none swimming oiks.
Looking back as an adult, the distance was really just a few feet but even with my ridiculously long orangutan like arms it seemed like the width of the Thames.
This was another blight I had to suffer, my arms outgrew the rest of my body and remained that way to a degree into adulthood. Something that for a few years worked in my favour in the boxing ring, but for a sprat of a child this was a huge embarrassment.
I will never forget that moment when I became the focus of attention of the entire class. Almost breathless as the chest deep water seemed to crush my lungs and that moment when the master blew the whistle and I fell forward into the blueness. For a moment all noise disappeared as my head went under although that was not in my plans. Then back up to the cheering and life giving air.
My method of accomplishing the distance was kind of based on doggy paddle but leaned more towards drowning really. Arms and legs flaying out in all directions I somehow managed to get enough water under me or behind me to propel myself painfully slowly across the few feet required and then suddenly breathless and exhausted I touched the side.
This was of course long before the days of camera phones, so my amazing feat was never recorded and I am glad about that as I am sure my parents would have been mortified to see a video of their child basically drowning.
I now of course could separate myself from the boys who could not swim but was still looked down upon by the blue ribbon holders. A few days later I was handed over a certificate and the sought after red ribbon. They are long gone now but the memory stay with me. In fact when I achieved blue ribbon status a few weeks later it held less importance because by now I could swim and it seemed simple. It never held that dangerous fear of leaving the comfort zone like the first attempt.
True success often requires you to do that.